how are you today, love?
today is a kinder, gentler girl ninja. she is in a maternal cocoon cooing state of mind. she's floating around like pigeon feather in the breezy summer skies... coo coo... coo coo...
so i have anorexic eyebrows. ive been raping them since i was 13 and they now resemble two scraggy anemic lines.
lesson learnt kiddies- never rape your eyebrows. when i have kids- they will know 3 languages, how to play the guitar, how to snowboard and how NOT to have victimized eyebrows.
i mean, there are no options left.
you cant draw them in cz then you will end up looking like your aunt w/the angry blue eyebrows.
or worse yet- the cholas with the sharpie brows.. u know- like they took a sharpie and drew in two half elongated half moons above their eyes and called it a day, er week. (cz you know, sharpie lines last a long time)
at the moment, i trim them. im very anal about trimming the brows.
and i draw them in lightly w/ a brow pencil.
on any given day- my slight of hand sometimes manages to create beautiful works of symmetrical art. perfectly tapered, not too dark or light. just the right amount of arch. on other days, the skill is off.
my brows are the compass to my mood. good brows today? good ninja.
lopsided brows today? chokeabitch ninja.
i wish i had frida kahlo brows. then i would wax the uni and have perfectly shaped caterpillars.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
style board
here is a double post to make up for my negligence.
this joint is called girlninja style for a reason.
mishmash of outfits that inspire me. see a trend?
love the casual chic w/slight masculine touches.
ill leave the polyester bebe/guess/arbenb whatever outfits to the youngins
this joint is called girlninja style for a reason.
mishmash of outfits that inspire me. see a trend?
love the casual chic w/slight masculine touches.
ill leave the polyester bebe/guess/arbenb whatever outfits to the youngins
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I fail at life
so much for my weekly update!
i apologize dear reader, girlninja has been one bad ninja.
and what excuses will i be pulling out from my bag of tricks? welllllll....
coakley lost the senate seat to brown. i mean hello- im a dem in bah-ston! my entire family including my 74 year old chinese father trekked out in the icy weather to vote for coakley. we dems are a proud bunch.
yeah... i believed that just about as much as you did.
i did just come back from a 3 day weekender snowboarding at sunday river where i had a fabulously lovely time. however i developed the following malaises:
1. slightly sprained right thumb
2. a fucked right big toe. i don't know exactly what's wrong with it but that shit is hurting and there were fleeting moments when i wondered if i would have to get that sucker amputated.
3. bruises
4. BED FUCKING BUGS. AGAIN! MOTHERFUCKERRRRR ME.
so yes- on top of my bruised ego (dont cry for me boston!), my bruised body, i will still churn out a weekly entry.
when substance is lacking- distract away w/pretty things.
w/that said- i am adding a picture for you to admire.
why you so hot boy?
i think im one of those odd people that have very conflicting personalities. im sure everyone thinks they are 'special' like that... that no one understands them but really- i think im all over the place.
maybe that's my claim to fame- my ability to be mediocore at every personality trait. im not particularly quiet, nor am i particularly not quiet.
my moods are like pendulums- they swing either way. or should i say my moods are like bisexuals- they swing either way. har har. (minimum of 1 corny joke to be slipped in entry- MET)
different people describe me differently. im not consistently one way w/any set group of friends. im just... all over the place.
when i was younger, i had wanted a signature 'personality'. something that defined me. something that i was known for. the only thing that i became known for was my 'ice stare down'. i could bitch stare you down faster than zoolander. (minimum of 1 corny joke to be slipped in entry- EXCEEDED)
my bitch stare down has since evolved into a subtle more sophiscated gentle lifting of the left eyebrow to denote superiority and disdain but that's beside the point. i guess im not a girlninja but not yet a woman ninja.
did i really utilize a britney spears circa 1990s reference? im on fi-yah today!
let me end this awkward entry as painlessly as possibly by adding more pretty things...
.
.
.
.
.
i apologize dear reader, girlninja has been one bad ninja.
and what excuses will i be pulling out from my bag of tricks? welllllll....
coakley lost the senate seat to brown. i mean hello- im a dem in bah-ston! my entire family including my 74 year old chinese father trekked out in the icy weather to vote for coakley. we dems are a proud bunch.
yeah... i believed that just about as much as you did.
i did just come back from a 3 day weekender snowboarding at sunday river where i had a fabulously lovely time. however i developed the following malaises:
1. slightly sprained right thumb
2. a fucked right big toe. i don't know exactly what's wrong with it but that shit is hurting and there were fleeting moments when i wondered if i would have to get that sucker amputated.
3. bruises
4. BED FUCKING BUGS. AGAIN! MOTHERFUCKERRRRR ME.
so yes- on top of my bruised ego (dont cry for me boston!), my bruised body, i will still churn out a weekly entry.
when substance is lacking- distract away w/pretty things.
w/that said- i am adding a picture for you to admire.
why you so hot boy?
i think im one of those odd people that have very conflicting personalities. im sure everyone thinks they are 'special' like that... that no one understands them but really- i think im all over the place.
maybe that's my claim to fame- my ability to be mediocore at every personality trait. im not particularly quiet, nor am i particularly not quiet.
my moods are like pendulums- they swing either way. or should i say my moods are like bisexuals- they swing either way. har har. (minimum of 1 corny joke to be slipped in entry- MET)
different people describe me differently. im not consistently one way w/any set group of friends. im just... all over the place.
when i was younger, i had wanted a signature 'personality'. something that defined me. something that i was known for. the only thing that i became known for was my 'ice stare down'. i could bitch stare you down faster than zoolander. (minimum of 1 corny joke to be slipped in entry- EXCEEDED)
my bitch stare down has since evolved into a subtle more sophiscated gentle lifting of the left eyebrow to denote superiority and disdain but that's beside the point. i guess im not a girlninja but not yet a woman ninja.
did i really utilize a britney spears circa 1990s reference? im on fi-yah today!
let me end this awkward entry as painlessly as possibly by adding more pretty things...
.
.
.
.
.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
9-5
name: girlninja
occupation: daydreamer
60% of the time, my head is in the clouds. i have this little fantasy i like to entertain. there are different variations of it but there is always 1 singular theme.
let's say it involves hot men.
and me.
and can get a bit x-rated.
kidding.
not.
sort of.
the x-rated parts are only subplots- but really, the main main storyline is as pure and chaste as my dick is big (if i was a guy that is).
whenever i get into one of my moods- it takes a lot for me to plummet down back to reality. usually- something spectacularly amusing must occur in my actual life to pique my interest.
once my trance is gone- it's gone. i can't force my mind to transport back even if i wanted to. im squarely back and center, focused on planet earth.
it's a sigh of relief (no one wants to end up being the fat kid watching anime while eating butter alone at night and married to an avatar. and i dont mean the james cameron avatar).
but it's also bittersweet.
it's like saying goodbye to your childhood.
there's a certain seed of sad wistfulness that sprouts these leafs of fantasy.
i still have a certain naivety, and by naivety i think i mean carefree irresponsibility, that i have one foot planted firmly in reality and one foot planted in my own little lalaland.
so keep on dreaming playa*...
*author's footnote:
i realize i like to throw in a lot of hip hop vernicular up on this joint. im not quite sure why as my day to day jargon is pretty proper and posh. im not valley, im not street. most of the time i speak like im a therapist psychoanalyzing something and i look like the most benign sweetest little girl you've ever seen.
i dont know what the reason is but somehow it just feels right...
maybe my alter ego is a chola?
tag: girlninja
occupation: choke'abitch ninja
occupation: daydreamer
60% of the time, my head is in the clouds. i have this little fantasy i like to entertain. there are different variations of it but there is always 1 singular theme.
let's say it involves hot men.
and me.
and can get a bit x-rated.
kidding.
not.
sort of.
the x-rated parts are only subplots- but really, the main main storyline is as pure and chaste as my dick is big (if i was a guy that is).
whenever i get into one of my moods- it takes a lot for me to plummet down back to reality. usually- something spectacularly amusing must occur in my actual life to pique my interest.
once my trance is gone- it's gone. i can't force my mind to transport back even if i wanted to. im squarely back and center, focused on planet earth.
it's a sigh of relief (no one wants to end up being the fat kid watching anime while eating butter alone at night and married to an avatar. and i dont mean the james cameron avatar).
but it's also bittersweet.
it's like saying goodbye to your childhood.
there's a certain seed of sad wistfulness that sprouts these leafs of fantasy.
i still have a certain naivety, and by naivety i think i mean carefree irresponsibility, that i have one foot planted firmly in reality and one foot planted in my own little lalaland.
so keep on dreaming playa*...
*author's footnote:
i realize i like to throw in a lot of hip hop vernicular up on this joint. im not quite sure why as my day to day jargon is pretty proper and posh. im not valley, im not street. most of the time i speak like im a therapist psychoanalyzing something and i look like the most benign sweetest little girl you've ever seen.
i dont know what the reason is but somehow it just feels right...
maybe my alter ego is a chola?
tag: girlninja
occupation: choke'abitch ninja
Monday, January 4, 2010
Goal #2
Those that are avid readers will know from my previous entry that Goal #1 was to get back my booty shaking hot teenage thang body. the gym was frequented today. success.
observation:
Going to the gym takes up all my time usually reserved for doing nothing. i mean really. wtf is that all about?
ill be the first person to say it: im lazy.
i like doing jackshit.
i like to park my ass in front of my computer and let my mind turn to mush as i surf.
really, it's like im barely conscious as my fingers clicketyclack away on the keyboard.
what do i do? i couldnt tell you even if i tried. my brain has no recollection.
a little of fb. a little of email. a bit of celebrity gossip. a bit of my usual plethora of favorite blogs. refresh. and repeat.
and before u know it- it's bedtime for me.
anyhow- i bring this up because this whole working out daily thing brings up a very good question. if one spends all their non working hours working out at gym... then when does one have time to go out and show off sexy body by wearing skintight spandex?? it's a vicious cycle! no one gets to appreciate the visuals of said slammin body.
if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around- does it make a sound??!!
if no one gets a chance to soak in the hotness of a well defined body- is said body really well defined??!!
this is just too deep for me. im not sure if my mind can process this much right now. dear reader, i will leave this for you to ponder.
as for me, i will go along to my main entry point, my Goal #2.
Goal #2.
I will attempt to update weekly. naturally- expect stupidity and vapidness to ensue. and lotsa of it. (reference previous potty humor entry as a evidence).
that is all.
good day and good night to all.
observation:
Going to the gym takes up all my time usually reserved for doing nothing. i mean really. wtf is that all about?
ill be the first person to say it: im lazy.
i like doing jackshit.
i like to park my ass in front of my computer and let my mind turn to mush as i surf.
really, it's like im barely conscious as my fingers clicketyclack away on the keyboard.
what do i do? i couldnt tell you even if i tried. my brain has no recollection.
a little of fb. a little of email. a bit of celebrity gossip. a bit of my usual plethora of favorite blogs. refresh. and repeat.
and before u know it- it's bedtime for me.
anyhow- i bring this up because this whole working out daily thing brings up a very good question. if one spends all their non working hours working out at gym... then when does one have time to go out and show off sexy body by wearing skintight spandex?? it's a vicious cycle! no one gets to appreciate the visuals of said slammin body.
if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around- does it make a sound??!!
if no one gets a chance to soak in the hotness of a well defined body- is said body really well defined??!!
this is just too deep for me. im not sure if my mind can process this much right now. dear reader, i will leave this for you to ponder.
as for me, i will go along to my main entry point, my Goal #2.
Goal #2.
I will attempt to update weekly. naturally- expect stupidity and vapidness to ensue. and lotsa of it. (reference previous potty humor entry as a evidence).
that is all.
good day and good night to all.
2010 starts off with an explosion
what kinda explosion? the dirty kind. and i dont mean dirrty (oh xtina). but dirty.
in the past few months- i think the season spirit got the best of me. i went a bit overboard with the drinking... the partying... the eating... the drinking.. the women... and the men... oh and the shoes. my collection is growing by leaps and bounds!
my faveee #1 prized booty thus far: a pair of 5 inch swedish hooker shoes gone clog. me loves it.
even though dear friends have described it as "ugly clogs" and/or "gross clogs".
what can i say- i love things that are tres polarizing. when you vehemently despise or adore something- it speaks so much of the item. u know it ain't some bland GAP, BR, Jcrew shot out the ass loafers. it's different and that's why it causes such a strong reaction. and for me- my reaction was the instant adoration kind- the 'momma and her newly birthed child' kind of connection.
anyhow- the past few months got the best of me and i found myself growing a buddha belly. the maternity chic hasn't been that popular w/the boys. so i vowed to go back to the gym come 2010.
and what better way to kick off my 2010 diet/detox than catching a stomach bug! oh yes. for the past few days ive been squirting out everything ive eaten.
what a great jumpoff for my diet. im already 3lbs lighter.
it's like nature's bulimia... but for your bum.
how lovely for me.
well im signing off now. gotta go shit.
in the past few months- i think the season spirit got the best of me. i went a bit overboard with the drinking... the partying... the eating... the drinking.. the women... and the men... oh and the shoes. my collection is growing by leaps and bounds!
my faveee #1 prized booty thus far: a pair of 5 inch swedish hooker shoes gone clog. me loves it.
even though dear friends have described it as "ugly clogs" and/or "gross clogs".
what can i say- i love things that are tres polarizing. when you vehemently despise or adore something- it speaks so much of the item. u know it ain't some bland GAP, BR, Jcrew shot out the ass loafers. it's different and that's why it causes such a strong reaction. and for me- my reaction was the instant adoration kind- the 'momma and her newly birthed child' kind of connection.
anyhow- the past few months got the best of me and i found myself growing a buddha belly. the maternity chic hasn't been that popular w/the boys. so i vowed to go back to the gym come 2010.
and what better way to kick off my 2010 diet/detox than catching a stomach bug! oh yes. for the past few days ive been squirting out everything ive eaten.
what a great jumpoff for my diet. im already 3lbs lighter.
it's like nature's bulimia... but for your bum.
how lovely for me.
well im signing off now. gotta go shit.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
got yer attention ehh? but really- i find this to be such a beautiful picture. Ive always thought the use of nudity, specifically female nudity (is there any other kind?) was gratuitous in movies, that the 'it's art' was a flimsy excuse for men to feel justified in showing tits and ass. however- the moment i saw this picture- i saw the truth of that statement. this picture is pure beauty. college girl is at a protest and she's giving everyone the big ol' FUCK YOU finger. she's topless and smoking a cigarette and she is daring you to deny her. love love love.
my poor little neglected piece of blogsphere... im treatin you like the ugly rebound we all ignore the next day.
apologies to my 3 readers (me myself and i, har har). so technically- apologies to myself... oh rather, shame on you (me) motherfucker! nobody puts baby in a corner! pull your (our) self absorbed head out of your (our) asshole and get back to cultivating this literary masterpiece that has yet to blossom.
like i keep telling myself in due time, my friend.. in due time.
so what has girlninja been up to?
has she been keeping up w/her writing? nooooo
has she been keeping up w/workshops? nooooo
has she been keeping up w/reading? noooo..
has someone been a bad girlninja?? yessss
so i go through peaks and valleys of pure motivation and utter indifference. just the other month, after finally utilizing the online search/hold option at my friendly local library- i went flipping crazy and checked out like 30 books at the same time.
it's the Chinese in me. the moment i realize something is free, a bit of hysteria bubbles up inside me and i will over zealously rape it of its resources.
my books ranged from the serious to the not so serious. the not so serious included vampire academy (book 3 was epic) and true blood (oh eric eric eric).
and im not sharing my 'serious' list with ya'll.
i dont want to be judged! my definition of a 'serious' book right now basically comprises of anything that doesn't involve vampires and hot guys.
going slight off off topic but this reminds me of a workshop i took in which our instructor asked us to reveal our current reads and favorite authors and/or books. everyone else had piped up with some amazing and completely unknown, never heard of titles and authors. unknown to me anyways. and i assume they are amazing because everyone else would nod or voice their approval and agreement.
when it was my turn- i blurted out murakami. because it was the one writer w/street cred that i knew and really enjoyed.
if i had said i loved mystic river by dennis lehane (which i do) im sure they would have tarred and feathered me.
needless to say, my non serious collection was read within the first few days. and my 'serious' collection has been languishing on the floor of my bedroom, collecting dust and library dues.
so that's the update on girlninja.
she hasn't done jackshit to be productive.
i say this all w/cheekiness but in all honesty- this site was created w/the sole purpose of being an oasis and collection of my written creative expression and ideas and thoughts.
the more it languishes, the more a bit of me languishes alongside it.
my soul needs the creative outlet yet i hear the devil's call-im too easily distracted w/shiny bright things and fun social activities.
i hope the new year will grant me the will to stay strong to my ideals.
even though no one reads this blog, i fucking love it.
everything about this blog is... well me. in essence i love myself. HAHA. loving this blog is sort of like masturbation- it's a guilty pleasureand in the end you are just loving yourself! stay true playa!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
wedding notes
my bf attended a wedding last night. at each of the tables were cards for each of the guests. Each card had a prewritten situation involving the newlyweds, S and T, and a proceeding blank for the guest to then fill out.
Example:
On the night of their wedding, S said "_____________". T then said, " _________".
This is what the bf wrote:
On the night of the wedding, S said "I'm going to hang out with my friends". T then said, "Cunt".
one can only imagine the endless possibilities of mad-lips absurdities that can occur.
Example:
On the night of their wedding, S said "_____________". T then said, " _________".
This is what the bf wrote:
On the night of the wedding, S said "I'm going to hang out with my friends". T then said, "Cunt".
one can only imagine the endless possibilities of mad-lips absurdities that can occur.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
ZAnPon
Dear ZAnPon,
though your name is case sensitive, i forgive you. i even made a trip up to NYC to see your exhibit at the joshua liner gallery. i was too shy to approach you but i'd like to think you received the love auras i was mentally sending over. well, in case you didnt- i was the girl who screamed ZANPOOOONNNNNNN before being escorted out by two hipsters (damn those hipster) i love your creative mind. please marry me. i realize i am a bit older than you but i believe in botox.
xoxo
GIrLnINja in love
though your name is case sensitive, i forgive you. i even made a trip up to NYC to see your exhibit at the joshua liner gallery. i was too shy to approach you but i'd like to think you received the love auras i was mentally sending over. well, in case you didnt- i was the girl who screamed ZANPOOOONNNNNNN before being escorted out by two hipsters (damn those hipster) i love your creative mind. please marry me. i realize i am a bit older than you but i believe in botox.
xoxo
GIrLnINja in love
Monday, August 24, 2009
your firsts
you never forget your firsts...
the first kiss from the sweet lips of your very first real REAL boyfriend (age 13)
the first time you experienced the exhilaration that is hooking school (age 14)
the first time you used a fake ID to hit up a club. rip avalon. the place had no ac. it was disgusting and sweaty. i still remember brushing up against one of the walls and feeling the fascinating sensation of something that can only be described as slime. it was unpretentious and had no velvet rope complex- hence every weekend was something of a cretin/douchebag convention. however. it was the first place chill enough (some would say criminal, i say chill.) to let a 17 year girl who looked 12 get in with a bad ID. and for that, avalon you will always have a place in my heart. (age 17)
the first time you got piss drunk, vomited all over yourself and fell asleep in a pile of your own retching. (age 18)
the first time you realize that dressing up like a slut is fun, yay! (age 19)
the first time a lesbian offered to give you a mindblowing orgasm in the bathroom (age 20)
the first time you realize that dressing up like a slut is well.. slutty. you like to keep your slut tendencies discreet. (age 21)
the first time you realize you might possibly not want kids (age 22)
the first time you read twilight. (age 25.5)
the first time you broke your louboutin cherry. in fact, u slut u went off and brought 3 pairs! magenta horatios, tortoise prive, and black leather criss cross <3 momma loves you! (age 26)
and
the latest FIRST to be added to this monumental list.
the first wrinkle. 'nuff said. all is lost. (age 27)
the first kiss from the sweet lips of your very first real REAL boyfriend (age 13)
the first time you experienced the exhilaration that is hooking school (age 14)
the first time you used a fake ID to hit up a club. rip avalon. the place had no ac. it was disgusting and sweaty. i still remember brushing up against one of the walls and feeling the fascinating sensation of something that can only be described as slime. it was unpretentious and had no velvet rope complex- hence every weekend was something of a cretin/douchebag convention. however. it was the first place chill enough (some would say criminal, i say chill.) to let a 17 year girl who looked 12 get in with a bad ID. and for that, avalon you will always have a place in my heart. (age 17)
the first time you got piss drunk, vomited all over yourself and fell asleep in a pile of your own retching. (age 18)
the first time you realize that dressing up like a slut is fun, yay! (age 19)
the first time a lesbian offered to give you a mindblowing orgasm in the bathroom (age 20)
the first time you realize that dressing up like a slut is well.. slutty. you like to keep your slut tendencies discreet. (age 21)
the first time you realize you might possibly not want kids (age 22)
the first time you read twilight. (age 25.5)
the first time you broke your louboutin cherry. in fact, u slut u went off and brought 3 pairs! magenta horatios, tortoise prive, and black leather criss cross <3 momma loves you! (age 26)
and
the latest FIRST to be added to this monumental list.
the first wrinkle. 'nuff said. all is lost. (age 27)
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