my little pea brain is kaput.
i feel like if i shake my head, i will hear a tin can rattle.
i need my wine, where's my wine?
wine is my life elixir. like the Romans.
or at least if my childhood memories of disney's fantasia are still in squeaking working order, i recall the Romans drinking grape wine all day.
for some reason, i can only write when i am just a tad intoxicated. is that odd?
i used to think it was until i realized that wine was the key to the writer's cockblock in my head. wine loosens me up and allows me to be unconfined. to be free with no shackles. kinda like a busty girl with no bra on.
similar to a girl i used to work with back in college, she needed heroin to break free from the mental block that was keeping her from the writing potential she had. not that i endorse heroin. i am way too much of a straight laced prude to do that. though id be lying if i said i never thought about it in a fantasy segment, in which i take heroin and then unleash upon the world a magnificent torrent of fierce ground breaking writing that will become my debut best selling novel, the likes of which has never before been seen in the history of publishing. naturally, this will all occur in a fevered all nighter. yes, that's right. in my fantasy, i will pound out my entire 300+ page novel in a possessed by demon state of mind with sweat pouring down my face. it will be a maniacal marathon of finger jabs/keyboard abuse, of which once i finish, i will promptly pass out dead to everything for three straight days, and once i do awake, i will awake to an IV drip on my arm in a hospital bed.
cue end of fantasy segment. dim lights.
you know, i like to consider myself a writer.
and like any writer, i contemplate what type of novel i would like to debut. a fanfiction best seller like twilight? i mean, doing something as fanfiction trashy as twilight has always struck me as a cop out. that's easy money and no glory. not to beat up on twilight, as i do adore it very much but writers are all about The Glory and The Critical Adoration. yes, on the capital letters emphasis.
should i write something irrelevantly witty like nick hornby or dave eggers? i don't know if i can accurately mimic that kind of presumptuous self congratulatory banter. the problem with that kind of writing is it has to be done successfully or else it's just bad, annoying self congratulatory banter. like a fake hipster. and there's nothing worst than a fake hipster.
and my third choice has always been young adult fantasy. though i didn't quite grow up a sci fi/fantasy nerd (that only happened later on in my 20s. yes im a late bloomer to sci fi/fantasy... how ironic is that? most sci fi/fantasy geeks are themselves late bloomers and i am a late bloomer to their late bloomer), i've always felt a connection, a type of kinship to that type of story telling.
i think the rule to writing an amazing YA fantasy book is to be as ridiculous and far out there as possible. sort of like taking a simple classic child's story and then churning it through the crackpipe so it comes out all psychedelic and fucked up with just a morsel of creepiness.
so those are my three genres of choice and i've been contemplating the three of them for years now.
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