your firsts

you never forget your firsts...

the first kiss from the sweet lips of your very first real REAL boyfriend (age 13)

the first time you experienced the exhilaration that is hooking school (age 14)

the first time you used a fake ID to hit up a club. rip avalon. the place had no ac. it was disgusting and sweaty. i still remember brushing up against one of the walls and feeling the fascinating sensation of something that can only be described as slime. it was unpretentious and had no velvet rope complex- hence every weekend was something of a cretin/douchebag convention. however. it was the first place chill enough (some would say criminal, i say chill.) to let a 17 year girl who looked 12 get in with a bad ID. and for that, avalon you will always have a place in my heart. (age 17)

the first time you got piss drunk, vomited all over yourself and fell asleep in a pile of your own retching. (age 18)

the first time you realize that dressing up like a slut is fun, yay! (age 19)

the first time a lesbian offered to give you a mindblowing orgasm in the bathroom (age 20)


the first time you realize that dressing up like a slut is well.. slutty. you like to keep your slut tendencies discreet. (age 21)

the first time you realize you might possibly not want kids (age 22)

the first time you read twilight. (age 25.5)

the first time you broke your louboutin cherry. in fact, u slut u went off and brought 3 pairs! magenta horatios, tortoise prive, and black leather criss cross <3 momma loves you! (age 26)

and

the latest FIRST to be added to this monumental list.

the first wrinkle. 'nuff said. all is lost. (age 27)